Thoughts of a Servant

I have been completely absent from Reno (my hometown) since 2007, making it almost 3 years since I have been there.  I was looking through some pictures of Reno from some friends on Facebook, and I have to say– it is gorgeous, it is fun, active, and plenty of outdoor opportunities in which I am in love with.  Lots of friends still live there, lots of church family there, but honestly– I don’t think I miss Reno.  For me, Reno was a safe zone– it was where I felt secluded from the world.  I didn’t fear anything, I felt like a big fish.  I felt like I could succeed there.

I don’t really know where I am going with this, it is just something that is evolving in my mind.  Say someone goes abroad to a nation where they don’t know the language…  They don’t have friends.. They don’t have a community / history with the people there.  They look back home and they see comfort, friends, etc.  They look forward to where they are now, and they see a big cultural, mental and maybe even physical battle ahead of them.  It looks like things are going to change, and they have to start their life from scratch.

I can’t help but think about losing myself.  In order to find your purpose and your value, you have to lose yourself.  I know it sounds crazy, but once you get your pride, your possessions, your image out of the way, you will see that you are worth nothing more than the ground you walk on and that you are in need of a Savior.

Russell brought up a point about fasting that should be emphasized.  Fasting from something clears your mind and allows you to see where your heart’s desire is.  Say you fast from food, you begin to see how much of a security it is, and how much you depend on it, and that you might actually be worshiping it.

Well I consider my move from Reno a form fasting.  Since I have been there I have grown to an unbelievable position in my faith after being severely tested, and still have unfathomable lengths to go (along with much tribulation).  But being outside of that position where I felt like I could succeed and into a position where I was the least of many in Los Angeles,  being outside of my zone of similar interests and language and into a melting pot of fascinating multi-cultural exposure, has better equipped me for whatever God has me doing next.

Throughout the Bible we see stories of people having to start over.  Each of the disciples had to drop their families, careers, and community ties upon following Jesus.  Paul had a major restart in life from being a persecutor of Christians to being a beloved follower of Christ.  Noah obviously had the whole world die around him and he had to start over with just his family and a couple of animals.  If you were in any of those situations wouldn’t you think the future is going to be difficult?  But isn’t it so worth it.

Each time we are put out of our comfort zone, or put into a position of fasting, we should act like the dog and the ball.

What kind of love.

Okay, I am a huge dog lover.  If I believed in reincarnation, i’d love to be a dog lol.  But what is it about dogs that keep them so devoted to their owners?  How about passionate about retrieving such an obsolete object like a ball?  Hmm.

Dogs have a unconditional love for their owners… They love them whether they are abusive, non-athletic, brown, black, white, etc.  They also love spending time and just being with you.  And these are the main ingredients for love, and the joy that you feel when you are around them.

Take away the judgement, the sinfulness, the racial boundaries, the copious years of blundering in our life, the obvious obsession for materials and money, and the inability to create time for others, and in fact, we are not much different than dogs.  We DO have the capacity to love unconditionally, but it is clouded with many factors that don’t allow it.  And honestly, its kind of sad.  Look how happy that dog is– thats just a glimpse of the joy that we can have if we are to just love one another.

Another key analogy of dogs is their ability to retrieve a ball and bring it back to the right person.  Lets say that God is the owner, and we are the dog:

(1) He throws the ball, we fetch it and bring it back to another person– how do you think the owner feels?  It would hurt if your dog started worshiping another person (like Buddha, Money, etc.)

(2) He throws the ball, and you come back without the ball?  Certainly disappointed that you didn’t take pride in something that you both owned (ball) and instead want him to still play with you?

(3) Maybe he threw the ball and you came back with a different ball?

But consider this, that ball is our mission– we need to fulfill our mission to go get that ball.  We need to save lives, we need to be out on the mission field, and Jesus is right their watching our every move in contentment as we are in fellowship with the creator.  It is that relationship between master and servant that fosters a healthy mission.

It doesn’t stop there either– EACH time you bring back that ball, you He will throw it out again.  He might throw it in the deepest water you have ever been in, He might throw it over the highest fence you have ever seen, or even further than you can see, but it is indeed your mission to go get that ball and return it to your master.  In doing so, he will be glad that you were an obedient servant and reward you with a juicy, tasty eternal milk bone for his pup.

What kind of love is this?

My good friends up in LA have officially started a church called Basileia.  I went on Sunday to check it out, and I must say that I am stoked!  It is a nice relaxing atmosphere with a passionate message.  The best part about it is that it is in partnership with several churches.  With partnership, you know you are doing something right and good.  You can see God moving all throughout Hollywood / LA, and I am excited to help out in any way I can.  Here is a photo from Sunday:

But I also feel convicted–  Because I have been fortunate enough to help out with some of the graphics and web dev stuff, but sometimes I just get overthrown with work and cannot get things to them in a decent time so that they can continue.  I hate pushing things of ministry aside in order to just focus on work  So Holly, I am dearly sorry, just know that I do want to fulfill my word– but for some reason things just pile up and then explode all at once.  I am so excited for you and your involvement with Broken Hearts and Basileia!

That kind of distraction is very common.   Whenever you are doing something good, say: feeding the homeless on saturday mornings, or giving time to talk at lunch– things will come up to try and distract you.

Be weary.  Plow through it. Pick up where you left off.  Keep going.

So I got really bored on the way back from LA.  Riding a bike can be really fun, but on long distances– you see the same thing over and over again– you try speeding up, slowing down, still, the same cars… like the Flintstones scenery.

So naturally, I start thinking about tough questions to ask myself and whatnot.  I came across this analogy:

I found myself trying to drive directly on a line / groove in the road for as long as I could.  Sometimes this line would trick me and I would have to shift my lane position to accommodate the change– sometimes the road would curve and I would be thrown off the trajectory of the line, and sometimes the line would disappear for a bit and I would be left completely oblivious as to where the line would return.

But the one thing I noticed is that I was looking at the wrong part of the line… I was only looking fractions of a second ahead to see where the line would be–  But in fact, I should be looking far into the distance.  If I had been looking at the destination of the line, I would see the line change along with the surroundings and abrupt changes… Even when the line disappears, I wouldn’t lose the direction of the line since I am looking past the broken part.

So applying this to my faith, sometimes I tend to get caught up with the facts, knowledge, learning, etc.  I love to live in the moment but sometimes I follow this moment too closely.  Don’t get me wrong, its important to know where you are at the moment, but we need to have our focus on the eternal offering.  Keeping your eyes looking far ahead at God will make sure that even when life gets tough and the direction is unclear (when the line disappears), you will still know where you are going.  Even when your mission changes abruptly with a job switch, death, or even a relocation, that you will be able to counter that change and still know where you are going.

While staying on the road analogy…

13 “Enter through the narrow gate; for the gate is wide and the road is easyd that leads to destruction, and there are many who take it. 14 For the gate is narrow and the road is hard that leads to life, and there are few who find it.

The Holy Bible : New Revised Standard Version (Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 1989). Mt 7:13–14.

Consider how many lanes I could have been riding on, how many freeways I could have been on, how many exits I could have taken, but only one way would bring me home.   The road that will bring you home (Heaven) is narrow, and few will find it, but the options to do otherwise (Destruction) are copious in amounts…

This line analogy reminds me of the story of Jesus on the ocean–  The disciples were on the boat with Jesus (Mark 4).  They woke Jesus from his sleep while at see (during a storm).  They were frightened,  ”Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” (Mk 4:38).

Let me pause there, the disciples asked Jesus if He cared…  What a loss of faith?!  But I can definitely relate to it.  I often wonder if Jesus cares, but then he displays his love and immediately I am like the disciples, “They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”  Mk 4:41.

In Matthew 14, when Jesus was walking on water, He asked Peter to come to him.  Peter left the boat just fine, he was looking at Jesus and walking on water! But then he started looking around him and got frightened!  Jesus immediately reach out and grabbed him.  Now this is exactly the analogy of the bike on the road following the line– If I had lost focus on the destination of the line, I would have been all over the road trying to find the line.  We lose that focus, but we have to remember that the line is going to disappear, but if we affix our eyes on the destination, then we will not lose direction.

What kind of love is that?!

My motorcycle batter is slowly dying as I only do short trips to and from work without any chance to charge it fully– and the other night I was just finishing up a salsa lesson, went out to my bike, and tried to start it.  Sure enough, it was in need of a running start.

My good friend Israel was there in an instant offering help, and I am grateful that he is the kind of friend that would do that.  But I had a little history check in my personality that surprised me.  For as long as I can remember, I loved figuring out things on my own– I like the challenge, and to see if I have what it takes to complete a task–  I still, to this day, have a hard time distinguishing what would be easier: asking for help, or doing it on my own.

This instance, with Israel, I knew I could do it myself– But it would have been easier with a buddy pushing the bike.  Sometimes, I have this process in my head that I want to execute, and most of the time it doesn’t require more than one person.

I know, it seems so simple– big deal right?  But it is some insight into my personality.  I still think I can do it.  And for that I apologize Israel if it came out wrong.  It is one of my flaws as a man.

It becomes more and more apparent in other situations of life, and is one of the reasons it took me so long to release everything to God.  Finances, insecurities, fears, etc.  And it is something that I will definitely have to deal with.

But here is the thing—

I was talking with my roommate, Russell, about defining knowledge.  I think it is really interesting– I believe that we have the capacity and the knowledge of everything.  The fact is, we need something or someone or some situation to define it.  We have the capacity to learn nuclear physics, but we need someone to define and sculpt that knowledge into something we can process.  We have the knowledge of friendships, marriage, etc.  But we need to sculpt that knowledge into a constructive form (when it can also be sculpted into a destructive manner).

This weekend Mike Erre, one of the lead pastors at my church Rock Harbor, announced that after plenty of time praying and listening that he was going to have to do another mission.  And he did an excellent job at defining the situation.  He and his wife had approached it with great care and analyzed the opportunities carefully, and as a result, felt God calling them to do something extraordinary.

I got to thinking, this is actually a breakthrough in my mind.  I have talked to people, and they always go to see Mike teach, they prefer him over anyone else…  This goes the same for any of the major pastors: Greg Laurie, John Piper, Rick Warren, etc.  But it hit me pretty hard: this is a wakeup call for the church itself (not only Mike and his family).  What happens when you take the name, the pastor, the leader, out of the church?  What do you have?  Will the church be in scrambles to fill the shoes? Will it be able to sustain itself within the mission and collaborative elders?  What will come of the transition (bitterness or growth?).

I have applied it to several churches, and it seems apparent that a true church can sustain itself without the presence of the named leader.  With Mike leaving it has only sparked interest into what God is doing as it means someone else will get to experience Mike’s teachings, and it is also allowing someone to step up and become a leader in Rock Harbor who wouldn’t otherwise have the opportunity.

Change is amazing, sometimes it is more difficult than fun.  But in the end, you can look back and see that it was quite a progressive step into what you would consider an unexpected future.

I want to say that I have learned a lot from Mike, but I am at the point in my faith where I need to get the word for myself.  It is time for Mike to begin his outreach (wherever that may be), while I (collectively as a church) branch out in mine / ours.  Growth is inevitable in change.  And I would venture to say that change is the only constant variable in life.

What kind of love.

It’s saturday– again.
It’s sunny– again.
I’m full– again.

Kids in the street,
Runners on their feet,
And I am clothed– again.

Which car to take?
Maybe to the lake?
I am bored– again.

Oh! There’s a movie!
Oh! Lets go to church!
Oh! Lets go …

Oh.

While I was clothed, others were naked– again.
While I was full, others begged for grain– again.
While I was bored, others slept in fear– again.

Who am I to care?
Who are these others?
Are they my brothers?

Oh! Lets go…
Oh! Lets go…
Oh! Lets go!

OH!

When it is saturday, my thoughts are of my brothers– again.
When it is sunny, I yearn to be with my brothers in their darkness– again.
When I am full, I long to give it to my brothers– again.

And I now know my mission– for the first time.

Russell sent a pretty cool question today.  Here it is: If God sent his son to bridge the gap with us and bring us back to Him, why did he wait so many thousands of years to do so?

I think its hard to put a concrete definition to this question as there are no real definitive facts, but there are  plenty of implications that come about at first thought of it: God has no sense of time, so essentially it would be as though these billion years were a fraction of a second in Heaven.

But looking at it further… I think he has been saving us from the very beginning.  Adam and Eve fell, and immediately he Loved them and perused them (us).  I would assume there is almost a longing to dwell amongst us while still giving us the option of faith.  So in reality, he has been with us, but until 2000 years ago, he had the perfect timing: bloodline, believers, anti-believers, etc. was just right so that He could bring us back permanently.

Going back to thinking about the CHE (Community Health Evangelism) program, its not always put in the place where the greatest need is–  it is put into a place where the greatest change would be.  So God, timing wise, came not immediately after Adam and Eve fell, but when the Greatest impact would occur.

Now going back to the beginning, this is where I don’t know why it had the greatest impact, but I rest assured that God has a purposeful heart and there was a perfect reason for doing so

Thx dude Russell.

I did some research on the Qur’an on Sunday because it just fascinated me.  I have had some great conversations with some of my friends that study Islam and its super crazy how similar they are to Christianity.  They have the same stories, Adam Eve, Abraham, Jesus, Crucifixion, etc.

Just a few things that stood out in these stories:

1. In Adam and Eve (Surah 20:120), eve was only introduced as Adam’s wife.  Adam was in fact the one who was seduced, fell, and Allah decided to give him grace.  Eve isn’t mentioned outside of that context, and I am interested to see if that is in fact a cultural effect on the holy writing? Or vice versa.

2. I am trying to find some information on what they refer to as the “People of the Book”… They refer to it in several places in the Qur’an and I don’t know what it means, maybe Book of Life? Maybe the Qur’an itself? Maybe a different one?

3. This is still vague to me, but the Qur’an states that Jesus wasn’t crucified, and he didn’t die.  That he might still be in human form and will reveal himself once again.

4. Surah 3:67. Abraham was not a Jew / nor yet a Christian; / but he was true in Faith, / and bowed (Which is Islam), / and he joined not gods with Allah. (Cf 2:135)

This is something that I admire, they have a full sense of “True Faith” rather than the half sense of “acquiring religion” as their faith.  They are fully devoted as that is their definition of faith.

5. One thing that caught me off guard was the commentator’s note stating that it is believed Christians invented / adopted the structure of Trinity from paganism… I am curious as to where he got that idea, and its worth looking into.

In the end, its really interesting to see the level of similarities in beliefs of Allah and God.  Sure there are the obvious differences, but looking deeper you can see the cultural effects on boundaries and motives between Christian and Islam.

The perspective of Allah, I believe, is more of an impersonal God who punishes, but also gives grace–not necessarily out of love? but more because he can?

I download this I Phone application today, but let me first say that Spiritual Warfare has definitely reached a new level.  We are creating technology that advances the spread and accessibility of the gospel, but it is also rapidly increasing the accessibility of lust, temptation and persuasive arguments against Christianity.

This application is a base application for arguments to be used against Christians.  Its a scary app, because if you are not prepared, these arguments can be very daunting and legitimately realistic.  I will look to tackle them not for the blog’s sake, but that I would have prepared an answer in advance should someone need to ask me tough questions.

One of the questions that basically revolved around the disproof of God’s existence:  Since God is omnipotent, he should be able to create a boulder that He would not be able to move– But if he could create something that he cannot move, then he is not omnipotent because he wouldn’t be able to move it.

I was puzzled by this riddle for a while, but I came to a conclusion after much thinking…

Observing that riddle is truth if you look at it as one entity.  But splitting it into separate entities we can make some sense: (1) Can God create a boulder that he cannot move? and (2) then he wouldn’t be omnipotent cause he can’t move it.

First, let me setup the story of the fall.  Compare ourselves, fallen man, as the boulder.  God is still God in this story.  When we fell from Heaven, we were something that God could not touch, could not see, because we were of Evil and God despises Evil.  But God then made a connection through Jesus that would indeed bring us back to him.  In this case, regardless of the impossible gap between Evil and God (us and God), he established a bridge.

Now going back to the riddle, I believe that God could indeed create a boulder that he would not be able to move (as the first part of the riddle)– This would be exactly as we fell from Him and became sinful–  And then he would be able to create the power, or establish the power, to move that boulder, as he created the bridge from man to Heaven.

So in my mind, I think he can do both.  He could indeed create a boulder that would be impossible for Him to move, and then he would be able to establish that power to move it.