As you can tell, my posts have dwindled to a trickle.  I know it happens, but I can’t understand how that transition comes and goes.  But I have also noticed that this is the time where I take a step back and just listen… It is also a time when I am most susceptible to messing up.

One thing I have studied though: emotion.  Life revolves around the notion of emotion.  Everything we do is tied to an emotion.  Some people, like myself, feel like they need to be lemmings and leap off buildings and cliffs and out of planes to satisfy this urge for thrill.  Some of us indulge in liquid courage for many different reasons and many different emotions…  Some work long hours for gratification or praise or some sort of fulfillment… Some go to Disneyland because of what emotions it brings… Some avoid emotion because no emotion is the only only emotion they desire.

Another thing I have noticed, I don’t even know why I have this blog.  Its an interesting creature– Because I don’t blog for others to read about my life– I could care less if people read this or not, and I have no notion of becoming big off of this blog.  It is the fact that when I go back and read this I can see these patterns of strengths, weaknesses– I can recall these emotions I am talking about, and realize that I am still and will forever be a work in progress.  Every now and again I can see a glimpse of where God has me going, and I can definitely see where he has brought me.

Every person I have talked to about blogging has the same fear about starting their own blog.  Its flippin scary from a weakness standpoint.  I become completely transparent in my thoughts…  People who don’t even know me will know more about me before they even meet me… Friends will see these values that I have studied, and hopefully see that I follow them– and even when I stumble, I hold true to these very ideologies. And at any given point someone could bring up a subject that I have written about and I will have to stand for what I believe in.

It’s that kind of fear, persistence, and that kind of journey that Courage flourishes, and thats where we find the heart of our Saviour, in our weaknesses and in our fears he strengthens us.